I see my own troubles mirrored in the struggles that my clients undergo.

I have a small clientele and most of them are working on marriage difficulties.

So many things that people argue about are not that important.

What simple, wonderful advice it was when Bawa Muhaiyaddeen told me to correct my own faults instead of focusing on my wife’s faults. It has worked beautifully for me and for most of my clients. But so many times over the years I have relapsed, forgetting my shortcomings and zeroing in on hers.

Each time I start finding faults in her, the situation gets worse; whenever I tend to the weeding in my own garden, I see good results.

I asked Bawa Muhaiyaddeen “How does one become a good psychologist.”He answered “Love, wisdom, patience, compassion, are among the qualities that are necessary in any work we do. These good qualities are what cure illness, not just medications or injections. Genuine affection eases a person’s mind. instills confidence,and encourages the growth of faith. The most valuable curative is within the heart.”“Doctor, my brother, we can cure only with God’s qualities, God’s love, God’s wisdom and faith in God. Whatever work we do, this is the point. This is what we must learn”.

I remember this lovely, and apparently true, story of a newborn child at home.The five year old brother of this newborn is fascinated by the newborn and hangs around the crib as much as possible.One morning the parents see him leaning over the rail of the crib and hear him say “Tell me what God is like, I’ve almost forgotten.”

I met a wise man in India years ago.

I poured out my feelings of what I felt was my neurotic state.

He answered quietly and gently, “There is only one neurosis in man and that is not knowing what we are”.

As we talked I felt my tension and confusion dissolve. I felt the truth of his words. The great fallacy in our lives is that we do not know our true nature, the essence of our being, the true Self.

That is indeed our biggest neurosis.